Time can heal??

Time is the best medicine is commonly used and it is proved by so many people....3 years ago,someone told me this idiom when I lost him....I thought I could really let myself to walk out from the pain....After a year later, it didn't seem better ......I was still suffering....Then,another one who knows my past told me I will relieve the pain as time passes....Well, I believed I could do it that time as the tragedy had been so long ago....Nonetheless, the reality kept telling I am a failure.....I am totally KO by him....Arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now,its already around 2 years.....In terms of thinking studying and whatever, I have grown up to be a more mature one.....except for the thing,I still keep my step in 2010....never move even a step.... Thats why I must be more optimistic ...I know I can't be like that forever .......No matter how well I keep the memories,it'll still a past...No matter how much I regret,the thing that had happened cannot be a variable anymore...So the only thing I can do now is to move forward for those who love me and I love =)

Everyday, when I flip over the newspaper,I can see the word "accident"....Recently,one of the serious accident was the cars that hit the tree and 4 lives was taken in the accident...I know nowadays there are many people who speed up in their journey with various reason especially the youth ....Nevertheless,we should always think about our love ones who are waiting for us to get to them (according to red fm) ...Accidents are always unexpected....So,we should not think that we can control it....before it happens to you,please slow down.... Anything happens to you not only affect you but the person around you ....

Listen!!

Is there any pair of ears to listen to me??? I hope someone can right be there for me even just once when I need....There are billion of words I wish to tell ....However,when I seriously look for.....there isn't anyone who really understand me can be right beside me,put a hand on my shoulder and said:"nevermind,I'll be here =) just tell me how u feel..." I think this has never happened ever since he was gone......

I know everyone would have their own thinking.....but can those ppl around me just try to control the temper???????????????????????I'm not a psychologist....I cant read mind,I'm not a worm in your stomach............I dunno wat you want when u dun say any word......................................................And pls if you had pissed off with something...................pls give me a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dun like a crazy ppl give me a shit face !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I'm paid to watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I dun even give a damn to see the idiot face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are human,I the same species too!!!!!!! you have feelings,why don't I have??????????????????????? I wish I could stay in harmony environment in the only comfortable place to me..........ended up with this kind of attitude towards me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who am I to you??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I did't expect you to have a super duper understanding towards me.............but just a little bit of respect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Well,just a little respect from you I also didn't get ......Honestly,the disappointment is maximum ... ...

Ignore my feelings??

I know there is always separations happen around...But I really sick of it...Why should they left one by one once and once??? I thought our friendship had reached to the stage where it needless to say how sad am I about your leaving....But in the end,you left just like that and until now I don't even receive any notification that you have reached... I forgot,it is not  because of I don't concern but I'm too care about it...Nevertheless,she left......Similar to the way that she left 3 years ago...also similar the way that he left 2 years   ago without any message left,also the way that my grandma left 3years ago without any last word for me except for the disappointed sight towards me when I was about to go back from visiting her...My best friend,my lover,my dearest grandma....one by one......What can I say when everything is a fact now?? There's nothing else i could say except "nevermind".....I appreciate each and every one who love me and I love....However,why do i need to express my appreciation by acting I don't care at the end???

To:The One That Got Away

Hey...Perhaps I am still the same as u scolded me as "white eyes"...Because I wanted to do stupid things here...hehe...During this 2 years,there were so many things happen around me because the Earth did not stop  rotating even one people disappear in this world...Eventually,I 'd finished my SPM...Result was not as good as u expected,I'm sorry because I did not do my best >.< Now is doing form 6,I hope I can be more independent without you beside me,do you think I can?? Of course I will my best =) and I made new friends in my so called new school..well,I never thought of I would study in a girls'school,anyhow its a fact now o.O

Sometimes,someone will ask me:what you want to be in the future? Seriously,I'm not sure what is the reason whether is you left or I'd changed my mind or I did not change my mind....I really don't feel like continue my dream anymore....Nonetheless,I think no one can predict what will happen in the future...I have had the feeling of my life for this 2 years is so blank...just like a piece of white paper....Unlike the past, the 2years are so meaningful and colourful that can described by a piece of drawings coloured with different colours of crayon...It had been so long I never seen you and heard from you....Honestly,I miss you so much even though as a friend....My friend,my lovely and extraordinary one.....I'm having one and only one question which is:"how do you do recently?" Will you answer??

Everything is just a thought? NO!

I used to be a person who insist that everything I think is right. Nonetheless,I found I was wrong recently. I thought I would not fall in love with my ex- boy friend,in the end I loved him so much;I thought I could take the pain of letting him go,but in the end I was suffering;I thought as time passed by,I would reduce the sadness to minimum and forget everything about us,but in the end the memories are still so clear in my mind even though he had left for 2 years. I know I can't be like that throughout my whole life,I aware that I must stay stronger as no one need to depend on others to live,I know that I must insist my decision on forgetting him. Therefore,I've made a decision. I decided not to meet anyone that related to him. I hope anything or anyone that can link to him please stay away from me as possible as you can. I'm here to apologise if my decision hurt anyone but sincerely if u read this please do not come anymore. I really wish I could do it this time. This is the best decision for him,for her,for them and for me =') Don't worry about me anymore,although I can't guarantee that I'm always fine,I'll love myself no matter what =D

Thank you very much!!! =D

Don't know why i don't feel like update status in facebook recently...But I really don't know where to look for him to thank him...He was a person who helped me when I needed today...I never expect that in this society still have such kind-hearted person...I really feel so happy for it  =)  Nevertheless,I couldn't remember his face even he helped me so much today, perhaps I was too nervous until I couldn't focus on recognizing his face...arg!!! Even though we might not meet again in the future,I wish to thank him here.....I really hope such good person will live a good life and he'll always be a happy person XD Its hard to describe  how he helped ...anyway,what I could do is only by saying "thank you" =)
Thank you;Terima kasih,谢谢你;arigatou gozamas ;danke;grazie;sukriya;gamshahamida XP

nan geureul saranghaeyo

我以为我已经走出来了...怎知那天的意外告诉了我，原来我还爱他。。那些年我们的回忆还是像昨日的一样，一清二楚的浮现在我脑海中。。之前，当我告诉自己，告诉全世界，我已经放下他时，偶尔还是摆着一张忧愁的脸。。但，当我承认我还爱他时，纵使我是孤单一人，想起他时，竟然可以露出甜蜜的笑容。。我清楚地知道已经不可能回到过去，也明白他已经不在这世界了，但我还是觉得我不应该一直压抑我的情绪。。爱一个人，有错吗？我并没有要和他重新在一起的念头，只不过想单纯地爱着他，那就够了 :) 与他一起最美好的回忆，我已经拥有了。只不过是心中的感觉：我爱他^^

A brand new journey

Hey everyone，long time never blogging due to the works I have had recently is too abundant for me until I have insufficient time to update here ><
Well, I had started my form 6 and I started to understand the meaning of "tough". I'm studying in a girls' school and I had tried hard to used to the new environment there. Regarding my part time job,I had no choice to stop it and concentrate on my study. I felt so sad to leave them last night because they didn't aware of yesterday was my last day there. Good bye my dear students =') I love you guys!! They had given me sweet memories during these 4 months and I have learnt many lessons from the little kids ^^ 
I have another good news here. I had recovered from emotional hurt and had become an optimistic person XD Nonetheless,I'll still miss my grandmother and my lover who left me years ago. As I said, life is fulled with challenges. This time,my best friends who had the same decision as mine is going to change her mind and leave me. I felt upset at the first place. Nevertheless,I accepted this challenge and I'll still fight hard even I'll be alone =) I did mentioned before that I will not oppose the fate anymore,but I'll take the challenge and face it with my maximum courage ;)

This is me!!

After all,everything seems to be settled down,including my emotion. It is undeniable that the case had affected my emotion deeply,but what was wrong for me to choose something i prefer?? It happened already two years ago and I think it is useless to blame any side as  nobody else is blaming the fault,except me. Yes!! Someone has gone for 2 years and my relationship has ended since two years ago. In this two years time,what i did were blaming myself,lying to myself that I could let it go but I was not indeed.
Now,I am sincerely to forgive everyone included myself and both of my best friends in another world =)
To them: Please have the same thinking as mine because you guys would feel better and happier. Everything had over and I'm continue-ing my life with my original spirit of fighting. I love you guys!!!
I believe my life will still face a lots of odds in my journey as life should be filled with challenges to make it more meaningful and colourful XD Therefore,I am sure that I still can smile sweetly without him. :) because this is me!!!

Its complicated~~

Due to i am too free in this month,i re-watched "The Mysteries of Love " again....When i heard what Raymond said in the end of the drama,i couldn't control my tears from rolling down my cheek.....Because you did say the same thing to me after you left me that year....I used to be stubborn and not to listen to other people....but I actually waited for you to come back....Eventually,you lied!!!!How could you do that?! There were so many things you hadn't done...how could you  left me forever just like that??!!! I hate you!!! Lied to me again again and again!!!!!!!!!!You said you will prove to me that you are the best guy that i ever met...yea..you have proven ....you won...you won everything ....including  <3....

Lonely night

I hate 'night'...because since he left my world,sleep had became a job for me to do everynight...i have to think of a way for me to fall sleep >< ...what happened to me????I'm not sure...I really regret to meet the person on the last day of 2011!!!!!!!!!!Really!!!!!!!! Now,my heart,my mind and my soul are totally affected by every single word that i heard that day!!!! How good if he is still here to taccompany at this moment...how good if he is here to solve my problem><....Now i could understand Avril Lavigne's feelings:"Damn...damn...damn...what i'd do to have you here here here..i wish you were here....damn..damn...damn..what i'd do to have you near..near ..near..i wish you were here" It is so hard to unlink him in my life as everything in my life is related to him.....I NEED BARBITURRATES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

心痛～～

想念是会呼吸的痛，它留在我身上所有角落～～曾经我以为，我已经放下以前的一切～～但是，仿佛一切让我康复的努力都是白费的！！一个错误的开始，让我们的痛苦着。。打开facebook，看见“情人节” 这三个字。。感觉好陌生，因为从2010 年的那个冬天的那个夜晚，一通痛彻心扉的电话让我的世界变得黑暗～～情人节在我的字典里已被删掉了！！ 那个夜晚结束了我们之间缘分～～原本属于我的幸福变成历史~~那样的悲伤从2010一直延续到2011，我曾经恨过，甚至自责～～责问自己到底为什么会让这一切发生。。原来，我还深深地爱着他。。我花了一年的时间，好不容易才让我的心平复下来，让淌血的伤口止血慢慢的结疤～～2011的冬天，我渐渐的让伤口复原，慢慢的让自己的视线转移到另一个人的身上～～但是。。。就在2011的最后一天，为什么要来为我重温历史？！看到现在的情况，只会让我更加怪我自己。。在所有的一切已成为定局的时候才来告诉我你有多么的后悔仿佛起不了任何作用～～反而好像在我结疤的伤口用刀子轻轻地划一道，让血慢慢地流出～～我痛苦着。。几乎又过着那些痛苦的日子。。到底我何时才能结束这一切？？对于过去，我非常非常非常的后悔！！但又怎么样？！！一切以回不来了！！！回不来了。。。回不来了。。。

A busy weekend..

Yesterday, I went shopping at mid valley megamall...I think because it was weekend so there was people mountain people sea...i was happy because my aunt bought me shirt for chinese new year =) After that,I went pasar malam with my brother...never thought that the sushi at pasar malam sold out so fast...by the time i reached only left 4 >< 

the cappuccino @ delicious =)

Today woke up quite late as i slept very late last night ...Then i cooked spaghetti as my breakfast+lunch ..I think it can be my tea also as I cooked for almost an hour >< ...Oh no!! why so slow?!?! and the cooking time made me forget about the korea open =( when i turned to the channel,it was playing lin dan vs lee chong wei...everyone was surprised that lee chong wei won...after the men's single match,the tv showed the previous result...oh no!!! Men's double had over??? I thought it should be the last match as the opens recently arranged men's double as the first match....How sad...Lee Yong Dae and jung jae sung lost to China's Fu hai Feng and Cai yun..

       

jung jae sung and lee yong dae =)

cai yun and fu hai feng

After the match I went to to jusco and lepak lepak there...of course i wouldn't forget chatime...=) and I went fun and cheer ...both places also people mountain people sea...as fun and cheer is selling all the chinese new year decorations stuff...and I saw a lot of 'dragons' inside....

just to bored ...played with phone's camera ..XP

fun and cheer...so 'ang'

I was happy today as manchester united won manchester city in FA cup...3-2 ....2 goals by wayne rooney and 1 by welbeckthe cute guy ^^

wayne rooney

welbeck =)

HUH????

YES!!! Today school reopen and it is non of my business anymore...hehe..XP ..but i waken up at 6.30am =( even i am working at 8am...how sad..haiz...Well,after I reached there, I am starting to handle a class alone...Now only i know its quite tiring to take care of children actually...but some of them are cute and funny =)
Today during lunch time,the worker there kept on looking at me as if she got some question marks in her eyes...Eventually,she asked me a question...what a funny question: So,are you married?? Or Single?? I was totally shocked..After i paused for a while,I answered her:I'm single...Then i walked away and monolog: Am I look like a married people?? Of course NOT la!!
Nowadays, most of the parents are worrying about their children...This can be shown just now when I was ordered to gather the students at the school gate after they come out from the school....I walked from my work place to the school and all the parents were waiting impatiently there...When the parents were allowed to go in the school to take their children, I saw a nice scenery which was all the parents were rushing in the school(they gave me the feeling as if they are the fans of super junior and were rushing to meet suju..haha)  
I planned to go pasar malam tonight but my plan was ruined by my sister as she's going somewhere else >.<
Maybe due to I'm too tired,I fell down in my room..I'm wondering: lay fang,when can you stop falling down like a kid =( ?? Luckily,nobody saw...so fish ><
I guess I have discovered the medicine to treat insomnia...Of course not barbiturrates..hehe..Its only valid for me...which is

A song entitled Rivers flow in you by Yiruma...Actually,I love this song since long time ago...But due to some reasons,I have stopped listening to this song...Now,this song is the only song which can help me to meet zau gong ..thank you very much,yiruma ^^

My second part-time job =)

After covered by spider web at home for one week,I start my second part-time job today...Well, the people there i mean the teachers there are nice =)...I got my uniform and some teaching materials today XD...

However,the students >.< still haven't make me faint yet...All of the kids seriously got their own patterns,I found that its a funny thing to discover... of course this statement is not for the upper standard students...^^ I think I'll become a fierce people after being there for a longer period because if I am too soft,I'll be bullied by the students...Anyway,I am kind of like this job...at least I can fill my time with some activities in which I wouldn't think of nonsense...Luckily today the school have not reopen yet,I got to go back home earlier...But its going to be very busy tomorrow i guess..
That's all to share about my job ^^  I figured out something very funny about the weather nowadays...

In the presence of dark clouds still can see the sunshine...seriously confusing @.@

Happy New Year =)

Hooray!! Its 2012,people XD! So long never update my blog here,miss me?? hehe...=P I just ended my first part time job with a period of around 3 weeks...elaborate more...I got some new friends there...all are with different appearance of course and altitude...anyhow,I learned a lot from them =) But there is a sad thing happened also,which is I met a man...perhaps with some mental disorder i guessed ...I guess that he is working around there also...He scolded me bad word and the middle finger ...haiz...so no manners...Fortunately,he met me =) who is so kind to forgive him...Because I seriously pity this kind of people...that's why I always wrote in my bm essays: Hal ini disebabkan kekurangan kasih sayang daripada keluarga. Ibu bapa yang sibuk bekerja sehingga mengabaikan anak mereka telah mengakibatkan anak mereka melakukan perkara yang NEGATIF!!! So sad,I think if you were me,you'll forgive him too...=(

the christmas decorations at leisure mall^^

Add caption

After the first job,I found a job nearby my house in which I'll start working on 3rd of January...So,there are some activities during my holidays..Such as played badminton with friends....Bowling with my ex-tutor+ friends..baked cake at home i hope it can be eaten^^ ...and so on...

unlike genting's one ...the light still on at night >.<

hehe...looks fine =)

I've never share any sad case here...but this time allow me to tell here...because this matter caused to have a sad day on the last day of 2011..I thought everything had over in 2011..Yet,it came back on yesterday...I got a big lesson from someone...I told myself this MUST be the last time..to let my  mood being interrupted by the last relationship!! Is a MUST in order to let go everything....For each and every fault that I did in 2010,I am here to apology... I'm sorry =( ...but please do not  interrupt my life anymore....

Lastly,lets listen to dj earthworm 2011 song....Make a comparison...I think 2009 one is the best...=)

2011-World Go Boom

2009-Blame it on the Pop