30th September 2015- This is life

I went to PT actor audition last night, this is like the first time I've been to such interview. At the end of the day, I've learned a lots. Despite the result of intake, I gained a lot. That kind of feeling which no one else could feel the same. Kind of like you found something that you have lost for a very long time.

Been busy about juniors' orientation this week as well as the endless assignment. I understand that there is difference of opinion when a group of people working together. When only one person who consistently giving rejections while others are with me, I should have proceed with whatever is it without even giving a damn on it. Yet, I used to be the one who think a lot and reflect myself whether I really did something wrong. Sometimes, it doesn't count right or wrong but the angle we looking from.

My motivations now can be variety haha. Sports, entertainment etc of course including him hehe. Okay. I know I have talked too much about him so this time round not so much.
#lovehimthough #learningtolove

TYIL

Recently, I learned a abbreviation which is TIL-Today I learned. Yet, I changed it to 'this year i learned'. I remembered some said if you truly love someone, you'll be glad happy for him/her though you know he/she doesn't feel the same. After all, I know the feelings and its true.

You can be a good leader in work or organisation, you also can be expert in study or assignment, you too can be the famous person among us. Yet, they don't reflect that you are expect in love and relationship. I thought I have always do the best in everything but I am just a beginner in love and relationships. Tears and hard feelings could grow me up and now I know what I really want.

I was too selfish for myself in the past which always think of myself only and always listen to others. The thing that I learned from the psychology workshop: We can change everything but not the history and other people. Yes, I can't change what I did and his attitude, but I can change myself. To understand him more from whatever it is. I hope someday he could see me with my witness-the time. I tell myself, don't be stingy to spend time for him even though it can be half a year or longer than that as I'm learning to love on the same time. Trust and time are the elements I use now, trust that he is the person who worth it and give him and me a range of time to proof my heart.

This time round I mean it. :)

18th September 2015

Been busy about everything recently: juniors' orientation, heavy assignment since beginning of classes etc. Meanwhile, he is having his final exam right now. I always don't feel like disturbing him during his exam. Hope everything is fine with him :)

During these days, I recall my memories about how we met and everything. I know I did many things wrong and it is difficult for me to compensate as there isn't any time machine in this world that can bring us to the past to save the regrets. I know it is stupid to wait for him yet I believe true love could win over everything and anything.

This time round I won't hide anything from him except one thing which is the truth that I still put him in my heart. The reason I choose not to tell is not to give him any pressure. I want him to see me as he really does instead of knowing my heart and falling into dilemma situation. Because I love, so though I am not being loved it doesn't matter. As long as he got his happiness, I feel pleased too ! :D

勇气

勇敢的勇，气馁的气，这词代表着如果你不勇敢那就气馁吧！一直以来，我都以为只要有恒心，就能够让我喜欢的人也有相同的感觉。然而，心脏不够强壮且怕受伤害的我，一直都在原地踏步，一味口中说有多喜欢，却从来都没有做过任何实际性的东西。

这一次，不管别人怎么说我没矜持，他怎么冷淡我，我都要坚强起来。因为我知道，现在只有“他” 才能帮我——时间。时间，会让我学习怎么去爱；时间，会平息我们俩受过的伤害；时间，会让他看见我一直都在。

纵使他再也不回头看我了，我也不怨不恨，因为我爱他。感谢他让我学会爱，或许做不成恋人也是好朋友!

不知不觉，我学会了很多。却只有一样——I can forgive but I can't forget. 我仍然不懂得如何与曾经伤害我的那个人相处，或许我们也只能像我说的永远的coursemates. 向最近的一位仁兄学了一句话：“对不起不是万能的，用的太随便就没有意义了。” 虽然讲话太直接的他一直帮我赶走客人，但却说出如此有道理的话！呵呵

好吧！不止在爱情上，亲情、友情都需要勇气呀！