信爱成瘾

原来爱一个人是幸福的，是快乐的。尽管坐在他身边，两人不哼一声我都觉得满足；纵使自己多没有安全感，只要他在身边都可以安心的入睡。对，这就是爱！不因为什么，只因是他/她。你可以为了TA 的一举一动开心一整天，但也因为TA的冷漠对待莫名的悲伤一整天甚至更久。难道，这就是信爱成瘾吗？

有时候，你选择离开，那并不是因为你不爱了，而是你累惹。再多坚强、乐观的人，长期受到忽冷忽热的对待都会累的。暧昧是美好的，但长久的猜疑只会让人怀疑自己到底是不是那位。日子久惹，慢慢地就觉得如果有诚意的话，TA就不会如此对待。而选择离开，不代表厌恶TA的对待，只是不想让TA 觉得我很烦。只想默默的让TA 记得有我这位朋友。

如果你也爱过，你就知道爱也是一种瘾，就像毒品一样。现在的我，就像在戒毒般的，只要想找TA的瘾来的时候，都好幸苦啊！为什么我要爱得如此田地😞😞😞

Betray

Murphy Law states that the more you deny something the higher the possibilities it'll happen. I believe it's happening to me. I hate being betrayed because I always wanted to treat everybody good.

When I recall my memories, every scene of the betray despite by friends or the special one has hurt me so much. I always think that mirror effect should be applied everywhere but why i am betrayed when I treat spthem sincerely. Or too kind is a type of fault?

I remember 王子华said before "世界很简单，人类很复杂". This means that things do not go complicated but human. Sometimes it's better for you to be Noob or silly in order to live your life happily and haremonic. Knowing too much is not a good thing too! Now I learned to let go. It doesn't mean I give up on everything. Just be myself, those who care care, those who don't care don't care.

It's alright for the betray because the people who trust me trust, those who don't trust throw. Haha. When the person becomes not important, his/her ability to hurt = 0. Thanks for letting me know what is meant by a true friend. I appreciate as always.

25 minutes

Have you ever step into the class and your lecturer says " hey, you're 5minutes late and you wasted our time?" ? And you will OS who cares about the 5 minutes?! Yea, this is what you think when it happens to the lecture, what if the same thing happens to your love ones, when you're late and it is irreversible like the games you play.

When you are aware that you need to accompany your parents but you're just too busy:
(Nvm, I can accompany them next time).
When you know the special one is waiting for you and you take it for granted:
(Nvm, he/she will always be there for me)

Nonetheless, you never think that things don't  go like what you expect sometimes. There is a lyrics by Fish Leong that always touch me:你总说时间还很多，你可以等我，以前我不懂得未必明天就有以后…… Don't look down on the minutes, it may turn into forever regret.

不具名的悲伤

This song is sung by Luo Zhi Xiang saying he has an unknown sadness. I believe everyone surely feel sad before but have you ever feeling sad without any specific reason? 

I guess you must have been some impressive incidents then you'll understand how it feels. It's like the incident have already over for so long and you might have forgotten about it. Yet, when the memory suddenly come to your mind, you'll feel the sadness while you don't know why you have the feeling either. I guess this is what the song called 不具名的悲伤. 

After years, when my old memories visit me, tears drop unconditionally and I don't know why. The only way I could find an explanation is this song, perhaps ones would say I try to escape from the reality. But I don't. I've accepted everything happened in my life, because I believe if they didn't happen, everything now will not go the same. I think it's time for me to go to bed :) 

Love is to bless for her/his happiness

When I was young, my ex told me if you really love someone regardless family or friends, you will want him/her be happy though you're not with them. I guess it was too deep for me to understand. After all, I don't understand but feel it. I know the one that I love doesn't feel the same as me yet I hope he can find someone whom he appreciates. It's painful for me but I can feel the happiness too!

Last time when my grandma was sick, she declined to stay in hospital and asked to be discharged. Then, she went home and was put on a drip as she was unable to eat anything. Few days later, the drip was removed because my grandma said it was painful. Last time, I don't understand. When she couldn't eat anything, the drip was the only way to help and why should my grandpa agree to remove it. Now I know, how deep my grandpa loves her. My grandma likes to bet on the 4D, and always make customise new clothes for a dinner. Though grandpa awared that those are not neccesary, he still pampered my grandma like nobody else. This is nothing but LOVE. Anything he does for a reason, that is her happiness.

So, it doesn't matter that the special one is not me, I truly hope he can be happy and healthy always
Hearts Eefang

我才发现，对最爱你的人来说，他们都希望你爱自己多一点

我的instagram hashtag aefdyd 爱于芳多一点，原来都讲到做不到...已经很久惹...我和他认识惹很久，但却不曾了解过对方...够惹，于芳要梦醒惹，就像妈妈说的，“我不想再看见你继续让他伤害你。” 虽然会很痛，但我不想再浪费时间了。就让我在做一次奇怪的人吧！让我再一次消失吧！这一次，我不会再block 或逃避，我要光明正大地放开，走开，就像四年前，我们俩不联络一年一样，也并没有怎么样，因为我活过来惹。

曾经，我爱过的他离开惹这世界，我也一样，还能在这儿继续写我的blog。真的并不会怎样，顶多在伤心个1年。对！

谢谢你出现过在我的生命里，还如此特别的相识，我想我这辈子都不会忘记，这位特别的朋友。但我累惹，需要休息惹。再见了，振琛！